you know I've started to think * about leaving tonight * although nothing seems right in cars

The Sunday before last, I dropped all my classes and registered for three new ones. I'm taking Introduction to Linguistics - it's very cool and interesting. And it's a night class, which works out well this term. I'm also taking an Interdisciplinary course called "The Value of Nature". It's comprised of a Microeconomics course and an environmental science course called Ecology and the Biosphere. We're learning both at once, and learning how to determine what has value and how we might create an environmentally sustainable economy. It's interesting. It's a lot of work. We have to be in teams and I could do without 2 of the 3 teenagers in mine, but at least they are grade-driven, too, so I know we'll do well.

Plus, I have Fridays off! Wheee!
But I'm not taking French. I thought I'd be okay with that, but I really miss it already. Duncan and I checked out a bunch of French books and children's books in French, as well as some Tintin and Madeline videos in French.

I used spring break to go of sugar and detox. Then a package arrived from my mom, with homemade sugar cookies and zucchini bread. My mom makes amazing cookies and zucchini bread. Damn.
So, guess who's detoxing from sugar again this week? Yeah.

It's a good thing, too, because my mood is so volatile today. I am a crab. A scary, dangerous, rageful crab. I hate feeling like this.

Haven leaves for Denver in one week, where he will play unlimited video games, eat lots of white bread and canned green beans as his sole vegetable and cranberry juice and jelly, eat tons of candy, have daily pillow fights, get every fucking thing he wants, and be overstimulated with expensive fun at every minute of the day.

Arnie refuses to call Haven by the last name he (Haven) has requested. Haven tried to talk to him about it and Arnie said, "Have you talked to your mom about this?" Haven replied in the affirmative and Arnie then said, "Yeah, that's what I thought. No, I'll call you what I want." He then sent Duncan an e-mail reaffirming that he knows we have coerced and brainwashed Haven into wanting our last name. That's a good dad - one that assumes that his son couldn't possibly make his own decisions. One who responds to his son's heartfelt conversation attempts with "I don't believe you and I don't care what you say you want." He has said such things to Haven before. Have is bothered by it, until he gets on the phone with Arnie every week and it is then time to play and he forgets to assert himself as a person who demands respect.

Saturday we went to a party. For cheese. Rock. I almost won Trivial Pursuit, but I couldn't remember the name of the actor who portrayed Captain Janeway on Voyager. *shakes fist at Kate Mulgrew*

My husband was assaulted on Saturday night. He's basically okay, both physically and emotionally. Road rage is not just a cliche or a catchy term. Know that these things can happen to you. Know that you never know who is an unbalanced psychotic rage freak lunatic who will douse you with pepper spray and knock you to the ground and kick you repeatedly and then slam your head in your own car door. While your son watches.

This society is sick. This is what I'm supposed to be proud of, as an American? That we have become ... this? This culture of violence? This utter lack of humanity, sanity, responsibility? I am not proud to be a part of anything that creates and fosters such a pervasive sickness. I want to blame the person or the suburbs or the city, but I know it's bigger than that. It's everywhere. It's America. It's American.